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Beyond the Mirror: Exploring a Healthier Relationship with My Body

  • Grace
  • Jul 24, 2024
  • 11 min read

Hello everyone,


I hope you are doing well!


Today, I want to delve into a topic that's incredibly relevant in our society: body image. With the constant exposure to idealized images and comparisons, understanding and embracing our own body image is more important than ever. 


I will admit y’all, this post is more serious than usual… It draws from my personal experiences to offer  a message of hope through different strategies that have helped me on my journey to having a better relationship with my body image.


WARNING:

This blog post discusses topics related to body image issues. If you find these subjects distressing or triggering, please proceed with caution. Your mental health and well-being are important. If you need support, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional.


To be frank, body image is something that I hadn’t struggled with until this last year, and it’s taken me exploring the deeper aspects of how I view myself to find a healthier, more fulfilling perspective. In the past, I used to think “body positivity" was a cliché, but now I realize its profound significance.


Before I continue, I want to clarify that I am not an expert on this topic. I understand that there are serious health concerns and problems people face, and I don’t want to trigger anyone. I'm simply sharing my journey and how I've battled with body image, both as a naive child and now as a young woman.


In a world where Instagram filters and fitness influencers dominate our screens, I've found myself tangled in the relentless pursuit of an 'ideal' body—a pursuit that often feels like chasing shadows. But what if we dared to see our bodies as more than mere reflections in the mirror?


Imagine waking up every morning not to the judgmental gaze of a mirror, but to the loving embrace of a body that is fearfully and wonderfully made. Not as an idol to be perfected, but as a vessel for your unique journey—how liberating would that be?


Through this post, I will be vulnerable with y’all—as I always promise to be on A Graceful Space, sharing my story.

My Story:

When I was younger, I developed a habit of throwing up after eating excessively due to feelings of guilt and shame, although I wouldn’t define it as bulimia. This behavior, which lasted for about a year during late elementary or early middle school, involved using a finger or toilet paper to induce vomiting after overeating.


While my experience with this habit was brief, I recognize that others may face similar or even more severe struggles with prolonged instances of forceful vomiting. Body image dissatisfaction is a widespread issue affecting many individuals. Research indicates that between 20% and 40% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies, grappling with feelings of inadequacy and negativity about their appearance (National Center for Biotechnology Information). Men also face these issues, with 10% to 30% reporting similar dissatisfaction.


This dissatisfaction manifests in various ways. Recent surveys reveal that 20% of adults experienced shame related to their body image in the past year, 34% felt down or low, and 19% felt disgusted (Mental Health Foundation). Although there has been a slight decrease in the desire to be thin among women over the past 30 years, the desire to be muscular remains consistent across genders (Mental Health Foundation).


These statistics underscore the widespread nature of body image issues and the importance of addressing and understanding these challenges. Recognizing the prevalence of body dissatisfaction helps highlight the value of effective strategies and resources for navigating and overcoming these struggles.


Furthermore, "The average age of onset for bulimia is eighteen, with an overall prevalence of 0.3%. Broken down by gender, bulimia develops in 1.5% of women and 0.5% of men, making it five times more common to develop in women" (Within Health). This statistic highlights the significant gender disparity in bulimia prevalence, emphasizing the need for targeted awareness and intervention efforts, particularly among young women.


After my short period of my habit throwing up, I didn’t think much about it through my teenage years. Sure, I became a person who worked out 5+ days a week doing competitive sports, and I enjoyed the invention of high-waisted jeans and swimsuits (still do to this day), but that was pretty much it. I even went through my first few college years not truly struggling with body image despite being around countless of friends I knew that did.


I did make sure to avoid the “freshman 15,” a stereotype that students gain 15 pounds after their first year of college. I wasn’t much of a drinker nor did I have bad eating habits, and due to my athletic background, I didn’t struggle with maintaining a healthy college transition, working out at least four days a week and eating moderately well.


However, by my junior year of college, body image became a problem. Each year at school, I had increased the subjects I was studying and majoring/minoring in… I had gone from 2 to 3 to then 4 jobs, and I was taking 15-18 credit hours each semester to graduate early.


When junior year hit, balancing 4 jobs and 18 credit hours was more than overwhelming; it became debilitating. Due to my increasing responsibilities, I started to be short on time for other things, including making time to work out and have self-care moments for myself.


Around December of 2023, I noticed that I had gained 10 pounds. My muscles began to loosen and my mind began to spin with thoughts like:

  • “OMG I am so overweight.”

  • “This is different than I am used to.”

  • “I am out of shape.”


Granted, I was still considered “average” within my BMI range, but my reactions reflected the catalyst of body image issues to follow. I communicated this to my personal doctor over Christmas break, and she validated that my BMI was average for my current weight, and that nothing health-wise was wrong with me. Due to my insecurities, she suggested I meet with a nutritionist to help. My first reaction was absolutely not; I didn’t need a nutritionist. I had a time problem, not an eating problem. 


But after driving myself crazy with excuses, I decided to try it out.


After meeting for a few months, I felt validated that my food intake was not the problem, but the lack of time I was dedicating to school and work. My nutritionist taught me that my body was not the problem—my mindset was. Viewing my body as almost an idol was unhealthy and mentally draining. She taught me to shift my focus from appearance to overall health and well-being.


Because of this, I have learned strategies or takeaways from this journey with my body image that have helped me.


Key tips that helped me on this journey:


1. Viewing My Body as an Instrument

One of the first things that helped was realizing that my body is an instrument, a tool for functional use. Instead of staring at my body in the mirror for “body checks” and pointing out areas I disliked, I began to appreciate areas I was grateful for instead.


 The danger of obsessing over physical appearance lies in the unhelpful and unhealthy mind loops that make us dislike our bodies.


Therefore, I want to say that it is not a cliche to truly see the importance of self-acceptance and self-love in your life and how that relates to your body image and how you see/feel about yourself.


Next time you are feeling negative about your body image, remember, your body is an instrument—use it well and be kind to it.


2. Biblical Understanding of the Body

Another tip that helped me was turning to scripture. As a Christian, I began to see myself through this body image journey differently by reading my Bible.


One popular verse stood out to me:

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139:13-14).


Reflecting on this verse, I realized that I was not living in this truth. I didn’t believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made despite hearing this verse multiple times before; I certainly wasn't praising God for my body or acknowledging that He formed me and knitted me together. Because of this harsh realization, this prompted me to explore what else God says about my body.


Another verse struck me:

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).


Hating my body and constantly worrying about gaining weight was not glorifying God in my body. Being grateful for the body I was given did. Therefore, it was through the understanding of my body as God's creation that changed my perspective.


Here are some additional scripture verses about your body to reflect on:

  • "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)

  • "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:1-2)

  • "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10)

  • "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple." (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

  • "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (1 Corinthians 10:31)


3. Mindful Media Literacy Consumption

When you think about body image, or at least when I do, it can become so easy to slip into thinking about dieting or food consumption and intake. While this may be an important aspect of bodies, there is also far more consumption than purely food that affects our bodies. In my experience, I began to realize that the media I was consuming was affecting my body.


Being mindful of media literacy and my consumption of media has been crucial to my

journey with my body image. It’s no secret that social media, advertising, and pop culture play significant roles in shaping body image. Living in a digital age where everything is posted can be difficult; while posting bikini pictures, trips, cute outfits and more is not a bad thing (I do it as well) it can be potentially hurtful to those who compare themselves to these images. Comparison in this way can be detrimental, and I've experienced firsthand how these influences can affect you. 


To reduce negative influences and comparisons, I unfollowed social media accounts that consistently triggered feelings of insecurity, such as those showcasing unrealistic beauty standards. Instead, I curated my feed to include accounts that promote body positivity, authentic self-expression, and meaningful, uplifting content.

Try doing the same for you and see how that helps your thoughts about your body image.


4. A Dopamine Menu

I've also found the concept of a "dopamine menu" to be incredibly helpful in my journey toward a healthier body image. I wasn't familiar with this idea until my nutritionist introduced it to me, but it has since become a crucial part of my self-care routine. The article describes a dopamine menu as a list of healthy, non-appearance-related sources of happiness and satisfaction. This concept helped me realize that there is more to body image than just food or media intake (The Nutrition Junky).


Dopamine is a type of chemical in the brain, also known as a neurotransmitter. Neurotransmitters act as messengers within the brain and body. Dopamine has several important functions:

  • Produces feelings of pleasure and reward

  • Regulates mood and emotion

  • Reinforces learning and memories

  • Regulates hormones

  • Manages motor control and coordination

  • Enhances attention and focus


The idea of a dopamine menu is to curate a list of activities that provide the level of stimulation we need when we need it. It's like a restaurant menu of healthy stimulation activities, allowing us to select something that will "fill our bucket" without getting bored or repeating the same activities over and over (The Nutrition Junky).


By creating my own dopamine menu, I've found positive outlets that enhance my mental and emotional well-being. My menu includes activities like reading a good book, taking a walk in nature, spending quality time with loved ones, and engaging in creative hobbies. These activities provide a sense of joy and fulfillment that isn't tied to how I look.


Understanding and implementing the idea of a dopamine menu has allowed me to redefine self-care. It's not just about maintaining a certain physical appearance but about nurturing my mind and spirit. I encourage you to create your own dopamine menu and discover activities that bring you genuine happiness and satisfaction. This shift in focus can be transformative, offering new ways to appreciate and care for yourself beyond physical appearance.


You can read more about the concept and how to create your own dopamine menu here.


5. Building a Supportive Community

Finally, the last crucial element in my journey toward a healthier body image has been the support of a caring community. Surrounding myself with friends, family, and like-minded individuals who promote positive body image and self-acceptance has made a significant difference. These supportive relationships provide encouragement, validation, and a sense of belonging, which are essential for maintaining a healthy perspective on my body.


One of the most supportive people in my life has been my fiancé, Mason. I was initially so embarrassed to share with Mason when I started having issues with my body image. However, when I eventually did, I found how incredibly encouraging, kind, and sensitive he is, always reminding me of my worth and helping me see beyond superficial standards. Mason's unwavering support and understanding have been invaluable, especially during moments of self-doubt. He helps me recognize and challenge negative thought patterns, offering a compassionate and loving perspective that reassures me.


Additionally, my friends have played a significant role in my journey. They are always there to point out when I'm being too hard on myself and to validate my feelings and experiences. Engaging with communities, both in-person and online, that share similar values has also been incredibly uplifting. Whether it's a group of friends who celebrate each other's unique qualities or an online forum where people share their experiences and support each other's journeys, having a network of support can be transformative.


By fostering relationships with those who uplift and encourage me, I've been able to reinforce a positive self-image and stay motivated in my pursuit of a balanced and healthy lifestyle.


If your body image has been a battle for you, I would encourage you to let your loved ones in and watch them bear your burdens with you and offer love and support.


Additional Resources

Here are some other helpful links and resources to support you on your body image journey:


Support and Resources for Body Image and Eating Disorders:


Christian and Faith-Based Resources/Books:


Body Positivity and Media Literacy:

  • The Body Positive: Focuses on promoting body positivity and offers resources to help individuals embrace their bodies and improve self-esteem.

  • Fight the New Drug: Focuses on the impact of media and pornography on mental health and self-image, providing educational resources and support.


Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope my experiences and insights offer some comfort and guidance as you navigate your own body image journey. Remember, your body is a precious gift—cherish it, nurture it, and celebrate it for all it allows you to do.


With love,

Grace


 
 
 

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