Dear 2023,

2023: lose weight, eat healthier, save money, get organized, learn a new hobby, or some other type of personal/relational improvements are often what you hear when it comes to New Year’s resolutions.

While I am a fan of intention setting, I also am aware that most times around a new year, there are certain stereotypes about them or the people making them. With the new year can come connotations of “new beginnings”, “fresh starts”, “renewed habits”, or most commonly, “resolutions”.

Let's start with the ever-so popular, resolutions. I want to highlight that the dictionary definition of resolution is “to do or not do something” (Oxford Languages). While this seems self-explanatory, the simple fact that this definition is as straightforward as “to do or not do something” ironically is pretty harmful.

If resolution does mean this, then here is how this is played out:

(If one does something they were supposed to do, the resolution is a success, however, if you do not do something you are supposed to do, the resolution is deemed a failure).

While this is a harsh reality, this is what I think the root of these “failed” resoltioms are caused by.

While none of these affirmations are inherently bad, one aspect that seems to be a continuum is that they hardly last. A research statistic that confirms this shows that nearly 80% of people admit to adbondoning their resolutions before February (Forbes).

Now, I am not trying to downplay that making certain life changes aren’t hard & don't take time. However, how to maintain these goals set forth and not experience as much burn out comes with recognizing these difficult changes and having an attainable approach to keeping them.

The same Forbes article titled, “This New Year’s Set Goals, Not Resolutions” gives 5 actionable steps to help decrease the barrier of failed resolutions. The following steps comes from the Forbes article:

1. Reflect over all areas of your life to determine where you are –and where you want to go. Strictly speaking, goals are the object of your ambition or effort. They are personal. Our lives are not centered around one common axis. We are complex beings. Reflect on the personal (relationships, health), professional (money, career coals), emotional (mental health), and spiritual (self-actualization, self-care) areas of your life.

Reflection will be different for everyone. You can do this alone or with friends and family. This is the first step to determining your goals. If your goals have no meaning, you're unlikely to achieve them. Also, if you have too many goals, you’re unlikely to achieve them. Pick your top five to get started.

1. 2. Write down your SMART goals for the areas in your life you are committed to changing. Use the SMART acronym to set goals.

• Be specific. Your goals should answer the questions of what you want to accomplish and why it is important to you.

• Make sure it's measurable. Quantify your goal in a way you have control. Don't rely on someone else to measure your success such as receiving a raise. That is outside of your control.

• Make sure your goal is achievable. Even the loftiest goals can be accomplished. It all starts with a single step.

• Determine its relevance. Why is this important to you now? Is this goal relevant in your life right now? Relevance is particularly important when setting professional goals.

• Time bound means setting a specific deadline for accomplishment. A deadline creates a sense of urgency to motivate us to act.

Here's an example: I will lose 5 lbs. (specific and measurable) before my wellness exam (relevance) in February (time bound) by substituting a piece of fruit (achievable) for my morning muffin.

3. Post your goals where you can see them. I'm a true believer in affirmations, vision boards, and visualization. I believe you should post your goals where you can see them every day. There’s a reason famous athletes visualize– and it’s because even science affirms that it makes an impact and moves the needle forward. When we write down our goals and then close the notebook, weeks go by without ever seeing or revisiting our goals. Posting them where you can see them keeps them top-of-mind.

4. Tell a friend. New research shows that if you tell the right people your goals, you're more likely to keep them. Accountability, right?You need to tell someone you trust – a friend or mentor. However, that same research found that talking about your plan to achieve the goal is more effective than telling someone your goal. And then keep them informed of your progress.

5. Be flexible. Sometimes our goals become outdated or irrelevant. Ditch those. Write new goals if it is relevant or see how you might tweak the other goals you've written.

In a study led by professor Dr. Gail Matthews, respondents were 42% more likely to accomplish their goals when they were in writing. The success rate for achieving goals was 76% when study participants wrote down their goals, developed a plan, told a friend, and kept the friend in the loop.

Here is the link for reference: https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2021/12/09/this-new-years-set-goals-not-resolutions/?sh=5c60de311ece

In short, celebrate your wins & intentional goal setting, but also keep in mind that change sometimes isn’t easy and that's okay... as always, remember to always give yourself some grace —

Instead of having failed resolutions this year, join me in trying the effort of practical goal setting.

Comment or send me your goals for the new year!

Here’s to 2023,

Grace